RANTINGS OF A LUNATIC WIFE

Kids say some funny stuff!

Ok, the baby, (future WNFL player) will be two next month. As toddlers are wont to do, she has been trying to assert her independence, and vocalize. While she is not nearly as verbose as the Diva was at her age, she is a pretty sharp little cookie.

She started, like every baby, one word at a time. For the longest time, that word was….”Daddy” (or some variation thereof). The first time she said “Mama” was the butt crack of dawn when she was about 11 months old. That was the first time she had managed to get out of her diaper and finger paint her bed. I was sorry that she’d ever learned to say my name. I am still sorry sometimes. I am the first person she and the Diva call when they want something. The words I really hate to hear from her, especially the mornings when coming from her bedroom I hear:

“Mama, Mama, MAMA! I POOP!” I am never sure whether or not she has pooped in her diaper or stripped and begun finger painting. But she looks so damned cute when she grins and says “Hi Mommy” I could almost forgive her anything.

She has gone from Mama, Daddy, Emmy J (her own derivative of the Diva’s first name) to much more complete sentences.

I can usually hear her saying, “No, no, Tsawah, do it!” Or cuppy, cuppy, muk, pease! Followed more closely by her favorite words….”EAT ! EAT!”

Occasionally she runs around the house and when asked what she is doing she replies: “Tsake, Tsake diapuh”. For the toddler challenged, that’s Shake, Shake diaper (otherwise known as dancing). While Diva could sing words to her favorite songs at that age, (We will Rock You, The First Cut is the Deepest, Sin Wagon), linebacker isn’t much of a singer. As a matter of fact the only song you ever really hear her singing is: “E-I-E-I-OOOO.

We have now started learning the body parts, which brings me to her latest funny.

Hair….Hayah
Eyes…Eyesth
Ear…..Eayah
Lip….Lappp
Leg…Laggg
Hand…Han
Arm…Awm

Elbow….

The little linebacker looks intently at me with her great big brown eyes as though questioning what I am saying. I point to my elbow; I point to her elbow and say again, “Elbow”.

She looks at me blinks her eyes points to her arm and says….”ELMO!”.
After I finished laughing, I tried again…”No baby, Elbow”. “Elmo!”

I bring my brother-in-law “Pan” in the living room and he tries. Again she says, “Elmo”. So he tries another tactic….

Say “El” he tells her, and she says it perfectly. So then her tries the same thing with “bow”. “Bow” the baby, repeats dutifully.

Then he says EL…..BOW. She looks at him, shakes her curly head and says….

“EL…………MO”. She doesn’t care what anybody says…WE may have an ELBOW, but she has an ELMO.

Actually, she has four, if you count the two on her arms.

posted by Lunatic Wife @ 3:58 PM